A Fragile Design Read online

  A FRAGILE

  DESIGN

  TRACIE PETERSON

  AND

  JANDUDIT HMILLER

  A FRAGILE

  DESIGN

  A Fragile Design

  Copyright © 2003

  Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller

  Cover design by Dan Thornberg

  Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

  Published by Bethany House Publishers

  11400 Hampshire Avenue South

  Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

  Bethany House Publishers is a division of

  Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

  Printed in the United States of America

  ISBN 978-0-7642-2689-2

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Peterson, Tracie.

  A fragile design / by Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller.

  p. cm. —(Bells of Lowell ; 2.)

  ISBN 0-7642-2689-4

  1. Women—Massachusetts—Fiction. 2. Women textile workers—Fiction.

  3. Lowell (Mass.)—Fiction. I. McCoy-Miller, Judith. II. Title. II. Series:

  Peterson, Tracie. Bells of Lowell ; 2.

  PS3566.E7717F7 2003

  813'.54—dc21 2003002569

  In memory of my mother,

  Gladys E. McCoy. Thanks be

  to God for the blessing of a

  godly mother.

  —Judy Miller

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Epilogue

  TRACIE PETERSON is the author of over eighty novels, both historical and contemporary fiction. Her avid research resonates in her stories, as seen in her bestselling HEIRS OF MONTANA and ALASKAN QUEST series. Tracie and her family make their home in Montana.

  Visit Tracie’s Web site at: www.traciepeterson.com.

  Visit Tracie’s blog at: writespassage.blogspot.com.

  JUDITH MILLER is an award-winning author whose avid research and love for history are reflected in her novels, many of which have appeared on the CBA bestseller lists. Judy and her husband make their home in Topeka, Kansas.

  Visit Judy’s Web site at: www.judithmccoymiller.com.

  CHAPTER 1

  Canterbury, New Hampshire

  March 6, 1831

  Arabella Newberry raced through the woods, the fallen leaves crunching beneath her feet and the echo of her footsteps beating the message Hur-ry, Hur-ry, Hur-ry. Darting through the timbers, she hastened by a grove of rock maples and onward toward the sheltering heavy-needled pines. Her breath came hard as she edged her agile body between two of the prickly green trees, the needles now poking her arms as they punctured her gray woolen cloak. She forced herself to breathe more easily, then leaned forward and listened. All was quiet, save the occasional chattering of a squirrel or the scampering feet of a frightened rabbit.

  Without warning, a hand clamped around her arm and pulled her from the bristly nest. A sick feeling churned in her belly as she twisted to free her arm.

  ‘‘You’re late, Bella!’’ Jesse Harwood stood beside her, his cloudy gray eyes filled with recrimination. She expelled a ragged breath. ‘‘Only a few minutes. I couldn’t manage to get away from Sister Mercy. She asked me to assist her with one of the children.’’

  Jesse’s look softened and he released her arm. ‘‘I’m sorry. I was beginning to fear you weren’t coming. I think I’ve worked out a plan for us.’’

  Wisps of straight blond hair had escaped from under her palm-leaf bonnet. She automatically reached to tuck them out of view before giving Jesse a tentative smile. ‘‘I’m listening, but we must hurry before I’m missed.’’

  ‘‘We’ll leave tomorrow night, after the others have gone to sleep. We can meet right here and make our way toward Concord under cover of darkness. If we can’t find your relatives in Concord, we’ll continue on to Lowell. Pack only as much as you’ll be able to comfortably carry, and I’ll do the same. Be sure to bring some food.’’

  ‘‘What if I awaken one of the Sisters as I’m preparing to leave?’’

  Jesse’s eyes flashed with concern for a moment. ‘‘Say you’re ill and can’t sleep—that you don’t want to bother the rest of the Sisters and you’re going to make some tea and sit up for a while.’’

  Bella shook her head back and forth. ‘‘But that would be a lie, Jesse. I can’t lie to one of the Sisters.’’

  Jesse gave a quiet chuckle. ‘‘We lie to the Sisters and Brothers every day when we fail to tell them of our love for each other.’’

  Her brow furrowed at his reply. ‘‘Jesse, I’m not sure what I feel is the kind of love that need be confessed to the Society. If we merely love each other as brother and sister, we’ve done nothing wrong.’’

  Jesse took her hand and looked deep into her eyes. ‘‘The love I feel for you is one that requires confession, Bella. And I hope the love you feel for me is much different from what you feel for Brother Ernest or Brother Justice—or any of the other brothers, for that matter.’’

  ‘‘You know I care for you more than the other brothers, Jesse. But we have little knowledge upon which to base the love between man and woman. I feel no guilt in not confessing our friendship, but I would feel guilt if I openly lied to one of the Sisters.’’

  Smiling, Jesse continued to hold her hand. ‘‘You’ll soon realize that what you feel for me is love—the love that binds husband and wife together for a lifetime. If you’re concerned about lying to the Sisters, I suppose we’d best pray that they remain sound asleep.’’ He looked out into the quiet. ‘‘We should return soon or someone will miss us. You go first, and I’ll follow in just a bit. Until tomorrow night,’’ he said, pulling her hand to his lips and placing a kiss upon her palm.

  Bella’s face grew warm at Jesse’s boldness. She quickly withdrew her hand and rushed back down the path. Slowing as she reached the children’s dormitory, Bella removed her cape and attempted to casually walk toward the east door, which led to the side that was occupied by the young girls. Opening the door as quietly as possible, Bella made her way into the large room where the children were napping.

  Daughtie Winfield glanced toward Bella as she slipped into the room. ‘‘Was I missed?’’ Bella inquired as she brushed a stray wisp of blond hair under her cap.

  ‘‘No, but I was fearful for a short time. Sister Minerva walked with me until we reached the entrance of the dormitory. Fortunately Eldress Phoebe summoned her away before she had o
pportunity to inquire of your whereabouts. Did you meet Jesse?’’

  Bella nodded as she lifted one of the toddlers to her lap. ‘‘We’re leaving tomorrow night, so this will be our last opportunity to visit, Daughtie. I transfer to the kitchen tomorrow. I’m sorry we’ll not be together on my final day, but if we must be apart, I’m pleased I’ll have some time with Sister Mercy before my departure.’’

  Daughtie began to wring her hands, a nervous habit that brought constant remonstration from the older Sisters. ‘‘Are you sure you won’t reconsider, Bella? Do you understand that you are leaving the safety of the Family? Won’t you miss your Shaker Brothers and Sisters?’’

  ‘‘I’ll miss you, Daughtie—and Sister Mercy and the children, of course.’’

  ‘‘And your father?’’ Daughtie ventured.

  ‘‘My father? You forget, Daughtie. Among the Shakers, I have no earthly father. Besides, Brother Franklin wishes his life to be separated from mine. How can I miss something I haven’t had since my father—excuse me, Brother Franklin—convinced my mother four years ago to join the United Society of Believers in Christ’s Second Appearing?’’

  ‘‘He cares for you, Bella. It’s the rules of the Society that forbid him to show his affections,’’ Daughtie insisted.

  Bella stared out the window. The naked trees surrounding the house were forming small buds, awaiting the touch of a springtime sun before finally bursting into fragrant blooms. Like the trees, Bella waited. She, too, needed warmth before she could fully blossom, the warmth of knowing she was loved by another. The child on her lap snuggled closer. Bella turned and looked at Daughtie. ‘‘If my father cares for me, why did he push me away when I went to him seeking comfort after my mother’s death? What kind of father does such a thing to his child? I don’t believe the Shakers have correctly interpreted God’s plan for our lives, and I can’t remain among people that force parents to separate and withhold love from their own children.’’

  ‘‘But your parents knew the rules when they signed the covenant—and so did you, Bella,’’ Daughtie added hesitantly.

  ‘‘I signed because I knew not doing so would cause a further breach between my father and me. Besides, Daughtie, what was I to do? What choices did I have at such a young age? But now I do have a choice, and I choose the world over the Shakers. You can come with us, Daughtie. I know that Jesse wouldn’t mind, and you have no reason to stay here.’’ Bella lifted the sleeping child and placed her in bed. She turned toward her friend with a surge of excitement. Why hadn’t she thought of inviting Daughtie before this moment? ‘‘Say that you’ll come, Daughtie,’’ Bella pleaded.

  Daughtie’s mouth went slack as she gazed at Bella, who had now returned to the rocking chair. ‘‘You’re running off to marry Jesse. Where do I fit into that arrangement?’’

  ‘‘I’m not running off to marry Jesse. I’m not even sure what love for a man is supposed to feel like. I’m leaving this place with Jesse because he knows the way to Concord and Lowell. It will be safer traveling with Jesse, and he’s determined to leave the Society. I’ve not pledged my love or my hand to Jesse. The world has so much to offer, Daughtie. I know you’ve been here among the Believers since you were a tiny child, but there’s more to life than this protected existence. Don’t you ever long to know more about the lives of the people who come here on Sundays to observe our worship service? Don’t you want to see what lies beyond this acreage?’’

  Daughtie was thoughtful for several minutes, obviously weighing her friend’s words. ‘‘I can’t say that I haven’t felt a tinge of envy since you first told me that you were planning to leave.’’

  Bella clapped her hands together and leaned forward in her chair, hoping to draw her friend into their scheme. ‘‘There’s no need to be frightened. You know the Believers will welcome you back if you decide against the world.’’

  Daughtie nodded. ‘‘Yes, but I’d certainly never be considered faithful enough to become an Eldress if I left and then later returned.’’

  ‘‘Is becoming an Eldress what you aspire to, Daughtie? For if that is your heart’s desire, I’ll say no more. But if you’re merely using the hope of achieving religious rank as an excuse because you fear any change in your life, then I’d say, ‘Be brave, dear friend.’ The three of us will learn how to survive in this new life. There’s much I remember from my early years living in the world. And Jesse knows much more about the outside world than I do. With his weekly visits into town to sell and barter goods with Brother Justice, he knows how to talk and act among the world’s people. He assures me we’ll be able to work and support ourselves. Will you at least consider going? You have until tomorrow night.’’

  Daughtie gave Bella a timid smile but said nothing.

  ‘‘Why don’t we both agree to pray about the decision to leave and see what happens tomorrow night? Would you agree to do that, Daughtie?’’

  Her friend gave Bella an enthusiastic nod. ‘‘Yes, Bella. And if I believe that God is leading me to leave, I’ll accompany you and Jesse.’’

  Slumber came in short spurts throughout the night, and when the first bell rang at four-thirty the next morning, Bella was already awake. She sat up and swung her legs around until her feet touched the pine floorboards. After waiting for Sister Mercy to finish, she padded across the floor and took her turn at the washstand. The familiar waking sounds of muffled voices and quiet footsteps could be heard next door and across the hall as members of the Society prepared for the day. Bella dried her face and hands, then exchanged her loose cotton nightwear for a plain blue cotton and worsted gown. She fastened the dress and then with long, even strokes, brushed her long ash-blond hair before deftly twisting it into a knot and tucking it under her white starched cap. After carefully fastening a kerchief across the bodice of her dress, Bella pulled back the bedcovers, neatly folded them over the foot of her bed, and went about her other chores until her sheets were properly aired.

  ‘‘You appear tired this morning,’’ Sister Mercy commented as she patted Bella’s shoulder. ‘‘Didn’t you sleep well?’’

  Bella gave the older woman a smile. ‘‘I’m fine, Sister Mercy. And I’m looking forward to helping you with the pies later today.’’

  ‘‘And I’m looking forward to your company, also,’’ Sister Mercy replied while pouring additional oil into one of the lamps. ‘‘We’re low on oil. Would you kindly remind me to ask the Deaconesses for more?’’

  Bella nodded her agreement as she quickly ran a cloth over the windowsills and built-in drawers. The second bell rang, and the Brothers could be heard leaving their rooms and walking down the steps as they headed off toward the barn. Without a word, Bella, Daughtie, and two other Sisters moved across the hall to clean the rooms of the Brethren before returning to complete their mending.

  Absently retrieving a sock from the willow basket by her chair, Bella pushed her needle in and out, darning over the spot until the hole finally disappeared. She glanced over at Daughtie and wondered if her friend had made a decision. This would be the last morning Bella would sit in these familiar surroundings mending socks and stitching initials onto clothing—of that, she was certain.

  The breakfast bell sounded, breaking Bella’s reverie and the early morning silence. She moved along with the rest of the Sisters as they joined the Brethren in the hallway and made their way down the separate stairways. The two groups converged in the rectangular dining hall that was now filled with long trestle tables laden with heaping platters of sausage, biscuits, and eggs, and gravy boats filled to the brim. They filled their plates and ate in silence, then rose to leave.

  ‘‘Any decision yet?’’ Bella questioned in a hushed tone.

  Daughtie shook her head. ‘‘I’m still praying, but I do need to talk to you.’’

  Bella smiled broadly and gave her friend’s hand a quick squeeze. ‘‘I’ll see if Sister Mercy will permit me to come to the children’s dormitory after we’ve set the pies to bake. Be thinking about what
you want to take with you.’’

  Daughtie pulled Bella closer. ‘‘I haven’t yet agreed that I’m going.’’

  ‘‘I know, but it’s best to be prepared in case you do decide to come along. I must hurry to the kitchen. Sister Mercy is expecting me. Keep praying, Daughtie, and I’ll see you later this morning.’’

  Bella rushed down the path between the laundry and syrup shop, skidding to a halt as she entered the kitchen.

  Sister Mercy gave her an apple-cheeked smile. ‘‘You best not let Eldress Phoebe see you running about with your cap askew.’’

  Bella grinned as she adjusted her cap, then grabbed a knife and began paring apples while Sister Mercy mixed enough dough for thirty pies. ‘‘I have a favor to beg of you, Sister Mercy,’’ Bella said.

  The rotund sister chuckled while setting her rolling pin to the stiff pie dough. ‘‘And what good deed might you need of me?’’

  Bella continued peeling. ‘‘I need a few minutes to talk with Daughtie. Could I take a few minutes later this morning to visit her at the children’s dormitory?’’

  Sister Mercy wiped her flour-covered hands on the large white apron that protected her woolen dress. ‘‘I think I can accommodate that request,’’ she replied with a smile. ‘‘You can go see her before the dinner bell rings.’’

  ‘‘Thank you,’’ she said to the Sister as she whispered more words of thanks upward.

  The pile of apples in the barrel seemed unending. Bella continued to work in silence, attempting to pray as her knife skimmed across the apples, peeling away the red and gold covering to reveal the white fleshy fruit. Each of her supplications was quickly interrupted by thoughts of her father and Jesse, which were occasionally interspersed with a warm recollection of her mother. Jesse seemed so sure of himself and their plan to leave. She didn’t doubt the decision to leave; however, she did doubt that she would have the feelings of love for Jesse that he so desired. With love comes trust, and trusting was a dangerous thing. Her mother had blindly trusted her father, and he had ended their marriage by joining the Society against her mother’s wishes. Bella was certain her mother had died of a broken heart. And she didn’t plan to follow in her mother’s footsteps.