Out of the Ashes Read online

  Her grandmother gave her a sympathetic smile. “One day you will laugh again. Truly laugh. I promise you.” It was almost as if she had read Katherine’s thoughts. “The pain will pass and you will once again be my happy, sweet Katherine.”

  Grandmother headed for the door. “Now, where is that silly girl with my tea?” She turned down the hall, leaving the room in a strange silence—almost oppressively so.

  Katherine knew Grandmother’s words weren’t meant to hurt her; they were meant to uplift. But it brought back all the reasons why she hadn’t laughed in so many years.

  There had been a time when she laughed a lot. Joy filled her life and her heart.

  Back when she was in love. Truly in love.

  But that love was forbidden and taken away.

  Allowing herself a moment to remember, Katherine went to the mirror again. The young woman she saw there was but a shadow of the girl who’d fallen in love in France.

  Where was he now? Was he happy—her Jean-Michel?

  Oh, he’d been able to make her laugh. So much that it tingled from her toes to the top of her head. So much that it often hurt and she couldn’t breathe.

  But that had been a lifetime ago.

  For a brief moment, she longed for that sense of joy again. Was it possible?

  Then Randall’s words rushed in: “Wipe that smile off your face, you worthless piece of trash. . . . I can’t have my wife walking around with wrinkles blemishing her face. Besides, you don’t deserve to be happy. Ever.”

  5

  APRIL 20—FRANCE

  Collette stood in the middle of Jean-Michel’s room with her hands on her hips. He’d sent her up here to find his favorite pair of cuff links. Why the ones he wore weren’t good enough, she had no clue. And why she was up here instead of sending for his valet was also beyond her comprehension. But because she couldn’t stand being locked up in this house one more minute and couldn’t wait to dine at the Dubois’s new house in the country, she had volunteered to fetch them. To save time.

  Never mind that she hadn’t listened when he told her where they were. Where did a man keep cuff links? Didn’t the valet normally store them?

  Digging around in chest drawers was not a pleasant job. She’d definitely made a mess of things. Where else could she look? Turning in a circle, she viewed the room and let out a frustrated breath. She needed to be done with this dreadful errand.

  Aha—over there. In the corner sat her brother’s desk, the one he used when he didn’t want to traverse the stairs to the study. Maybe they were in there.

  The top two drawers on the left held nothing but correspondence. How boring.

  The middle drawer was locked.

  But Collette had never let that stop her before. Pulling a hairpin from her perfectly coiffed head, she inserted it into the lock.

  Voilà! It opened and she began her search. She pushed a thick envelope to the side and tickets spilled out.

  First-class tickets.

  For a voyage to America.

  Forgetting all about the need to tidy up the mess she’d made—or the cuff links, for that matter—she raced down the stairs with tickets in hand.

  “Jean-Michel, you sweet brother, you!”

  He turned toward her and raised his brows.

  “All this time, you’ve been allowing me to think that you were taking your time with the decision, and yet, you’ve already purchased the tickets!” She squealed in delight and ran over to kiss his cheek.

  But his face turned into a frown. “Where did you get those?”

  She bit her lip and attempted to look innocent. That always seemed to help Father forgive her. “They were in your desk—”

  “And what, pray tell, were you doing in my desk? Snooping? Collette, you are exasperating. I can’t believe you would invade my privacy like that. Riffling through my desk, of all places. Especially in a drawer that was locked!”

  Tears worked their way to her lashes. It never hurt that she could cry on demand if needed. “But, brother, certainly you can forgive me for such a thing. I was only looking for your cuff links like you asked.”

  He closed his eyes.

  She had him now. “I’m so sorry. But that still doesn’t explain the tickets. They are for us, yes?”

  He turned toward the window again and sighed. “If you would have noticed, you’d have seen those tickets were for only one person.”

  She frowned. Surely he wouldn’t send her off alone. Or maybe he meant to go alone. Oh, this was maddening, but she dare not ask. With his back to her, she couldn’t tell if Jean-Michel was angry or just fed up with her.

  Should she try another tactic? They were already going to be late, and she really did want to get out of the house. “Again, I am so sorry, Jean-Michel. I will leave it alone. I shouldn’t have pushed. Let’s get to dinner. The Dubois family will be waiting.” She ducked her head and saw a slight movement.

  “It’s forgiven, Collette. But please give me the courtesy of leaving my desk—especially any locked drawers—alone.” He looked so old as he hobbled toward her. What had happened to her bold and strong big brother?

  For a moment, she felt guilty. She really didn’t have to be such a trial all the time. But she was so bored. All her friends were either married, getting married, or having children. And Collette hadn’t gone anywhere or done much of anything, not since the Great War.

  Why did everything have to change? First the despicable war ruined everything. Then Jean-Michel was wounded—in more ways than one. Then Father died.

  She held out the envelope with the tickets.

  He took them and placed them in his jacket pocket. A small smile lifted his mouth. “You’re right, we don’t want to keep the Dubois family waiting.”

  Silence kept them company as she put on her wrap and they climbed into the motorcar. Why wouldn’t he just tell her what he had planned—why he had tickets . . . for one? She looked over at him. His face was solemn and focused on the road.

  Oh, bother. Well, two could play at this game. She crossed her arms over her middle and let out a huff. Let’s see how he felt about the silent treatment.

  Jean-Michel reached over and patted her knee. “Stop your pouting, and don’t for a minute think that I don’t know what you are up to.”

  She turned even more toward the window.

  “Well, I guess we should turn around if you’re not in the mood to talk.”

  Why were all men so impossible?

  “Oh, well, I thought you’d want to tell the Dubois girls all about our trip to America. We leave next week. But . . . if you’re not feeling up to it—”

  She sucked in a breath. “Truly?” Like a child, she couldn’t help but bounce on the seat.

  “Yes.”

  “Together?” She kept wondering about the single set of tickets.

  “Of course, together. I could hardly send someone so silly as you alone.” He grinned and gave her a wink.

  Collette threw her arms around his neck. “You are the best brother ever.”

  The terrors that plagued Jean-Michel at night happened almost every time he fell asleep. Most of the time, he relived the same horrible scenes. Over and over and over.

  Sometimes with each heartbeat and second lasting much longer—prolonging the agony.

  Finding out he was responsible for George’s and Luc’s deaths.

  Watching the people burn inside the buildings.

  It was all too real. He’d wake up in a sweat and out of breath.

  Tonight he found himself reading and thinking . . . really anything to keep from going to sleep and waking up in a nightmare one more time.

  Father’s letter lay on the table beside his bed. Jean-Michel had read it every day, but it still didn’t change anything.

  Underneath his father’s letter was the one from Maria Harrison and the tickets Collette had found. Jean-Michel picked up Maria’s letter again and read it.

  Could the wise old woman be right? Could he be the answer for Kath
erine?

  After all these years, he’d never forgotten her or stopped loving her. He could see her face in his mind just as clearly as if she stood before him now. But did she still love him? And even if she did, would that be enough to heal her from a horrible past—to heal them both?

  It broke his heart to think of Katherine suffering. And apparently, she’d suffered a great deal.

  Was it all his fault? Five years ago, should he have sneaked her away and eloped—defying her parents?

  He shook his head. There was nothing he could do about that now.

  Same for him. He’d carry the emotional scars with him until he died.

  Then there were the physical ones as well. Would Katherine be disgusted with him now that he was no longer whole?

  Rubbing his leg, a little idea niggled at the edge of his mind. The doctor had said if he would just try harder—put his all into it—there might be a chance Jean-Michel could improve. But his heart hadn’t been in it.

  But now? There was a reason now. Collette needed him. In fact, more so than ever. He’d been noticing her flirtatious and careless attitude toward so much of life. She wanted to have fun and instant gratification. Someone needed to rein her in before she got herself into a heap of trouble. Just two days ago he’d found her making cow eyes at the chauffeur. He’d actually considered sending her off to an expensive finishing school in Switzerland. Then she’d forced his hand by finding the tickets.

  That wasn’t the real reason, though, was it?

  Katherine was. That letter from her grandmother stirred all kinds of new longings and feelings in his heart. Like he was coming back to life. And he wanted to help Katherine to come back as well. With him. He could save her from the darkness that surrounded her. Perhaps their love could save them both.

  New resolve in place, Jean-Michel would call the doctor first thing in the morning.

  Three days later, Jean-Michel stood in front of the man he’d pinned his hopes on.

  “It’s good to see you, Monsieur Langelier.”

  Jean-Michel took his proffered hand and shook it. “Same to you, doctor.”

  “Have a seat. Now, what can I help you with?”

  “I’ll be brief. We leave in three days’ time for America, and I remembered that you mentioned there was a possibility to do more to help my leg to heal.”

  The man nodded. “Indeed. Yes.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “It will be quite difficult now, though. Much time has passed.”

  “I’m willing to work hard.”

  The doctor laughed and pushed his spectacles up onto his nose a little higher. “I’m glad to hear it. In fact, I’m exceedingly glad to see you have the heart to live again. That’s what you needed more than any exercises.”

  Jean-Michel squinted down at the man. “But you do have exercises for me to do—things that will help me strengthen the leg?”

  “I do.” He reached for a paper and pen off his desk. “But, remember, it will take twice the time now to build it back up. If the exercises are even able to work.”

  Twice the time. That would be six months. Why didn’t he listen to the doctor before now? “I’m willing to try. Please.”

  The man held up a finger as he began to furiously scribble on the paper.

  Jean-Michel attempted to read across the desk but couldn’t decipher the man’s scrawl upside down. Several minutes passed, then he sat in the chair beside him.

  After several more minutes, the doctor nodded and brought the paper around to Jean-Michel. “Now, these are the directions for the exercises, but I’m going to show you here how to do them. The directions are just a reminder. Try to do them each thirty to forty times a day.”

  He felt his eyebrows rise. “That’s a great many.”

  The doctor took in a deep breath. “Yes, it is. But I believe it will work.”

  Reading over the paper in detail, Jean-Michel realized his work was cut out for him. At this rate of repetition, he’d have to spend a good portion of each day in these rehabilitative exercises.

  The doctor reached for Jean-Michel’s bad leg. “Let’s begin.”

  BARCELONA, SPAIN

  Where was the general?

  He must find him. Before anyone else did. The country—no, the world—was counting on him. The new message tucked into his shoe must be delivered. But first, he had to make it out of here alive and find the general.

  Around every corner, there were spies. Even though everyone said the war was over, it wasn’t.

  War was never over.

  Never.

  The little girl behind the corn cart kept watching him. What if she recognized him? What if she worked for them?

  He took a few steps back, turned around, and fled through the alley behind him. They wouldn’t catch him.

  He’d have to risk being seen and send a telegram.

  The code would have to be short. Congenial. Like a normal day for normal people doing normal things.

  As he sneaked through the streets, he worded it over and over in his mind.

  The general would know what to do next.

  6

  APRIL 30—KENTUCKY, USA

  As she sat on the edge of the hotel bed, one thought was clear in Katherine’s mind. Her feet ached. And their day hadn’t even started yet.

  For fourteen days, they’d traveled to more states than she could remember and traipsed around looking at anything and everything Grandmother wanted to see. Libraries, cemeteries, interesting-looking buildings . . . the list went on and on.

  The beginning of the trip had been lovely, with a visit to Niagara Falls before they left the state of New York. The roar of the falls and the spray of the water on her skin had been invigorating. But as the trip progressed, she had no idea Grandmother would be so adventurous. They took their time and rested often, but still it seemed a great deal of strain for a woman her grandmother’s age. However, when Katherine suggested they slow down—perhaps omit a few side trips—Grandmother would hear nothing of it.

  They’d been to Philadelphia and Independence Hall, then to Washington, DC—where they must have walked five miles to all the historical and significant buildings. Grandmother had even asked to see the President!

  Katherine shook her head. When she’d agreed to go to Alaska, she thought they would simply be going to Alaska. Clearly they were taking the long way. Would they even make it this summer, or would Grandmother have them off to see the pyramids in Mexico? If she did, no doubt they’d have to climb them.

  The thought made her chuckle, much to her own surprise.

  “Well, my goodness. Listen to that.” Grandmother stood at the door between their hotel rooms. “Didn’t I tell you this trip would do you good? Now what has so amused you?”

  “To be honest, I was wondering if we would ever make it to Alaska for the summer.”

  Grandmother shook a finger at her as her grin widened. “Now you just hush. We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

  “Of course we are. I just wish I could say the same for my feet.” For dramatic effect, she rubbed the bottoms of her feet.

  “You can just tell your feet that they better be up for the challenge today, because I have something special planned.”

  Oh dear.

  “You need your most comfortable and sturdy shoes.”

  Katherine stood and placed her hands on her hips. “Excuse me, but wait just a minute. Before I even put on my most comfortable and sturdy shoes, you need to tell me where we are headed.” She smiled at her grandmother. Her heart was in the right place, but if Katherine was going to be along for this adventure, she needed to lay down some ground rules. “While this has been quite entertaining, I think it’s time we came to an agreement. No more surprises every day. I need to know how to dress and prepare for the coming ‘fun’ you have planned.”

  Grandmother raised an eyebrow and smiled. “And you’ll be fine with whatever I choose as long as I tell you each morning?”

  Katherine fought the urge to roll her eyes and
sighed. “As long as we make it in time to catch our ship out of San Francisco, yes, I’m fine with that. Like you said, it’s an adventure.”

  “It is. And it wouldn’t hurt you to try and show a bit more enthusiasm.”

  “I’m trying, Grandmother. I am.”

  “I know, dear.” The older woman’s aged and wrinkled hand gripped her shoulder.

  Their discussion couldn’t be allowed to go down any serious route. Katherine’s heart wasn’t up for it. Even though every day her grandmother tried. “So what are we up to today?” She took a deep breath and put on a smile.

  “Mammoth Cave.”

  Although she would have never chosen to visit a cave, Katherine was so glad they’d come. Their tour guide was full of knowledge and patient with all their questions. The glow of the stalactites and stalagmites in the lantern light was glorious.

  Before this morning, she’d had no idea that Mammoth Cave existed. Nor did she know that it was the longest cave system in the world. But now after traveling from “room” to “room” and seeing all the hidden beauty for herself, Katherine was mesmerized. The underground rivers and rock formations were always changing as they explored deeper into the cave. Grandmother had informed her that they were taking the Long Route, which would include a meal, but would take fourteen hours. At the time, she’d been stupefied they would attempt such a thing, but now, she was ever so thankful.

  The massive Rotunda Room had been her favorite. Sitting on a rock for a moment, she could imagine instead that she was inside a beautiful opera house and her whispers could be heard across the whole area as several other tourists experimented with her on the travel of sound.

  When they’d reached the Bottomless Pit, Grandmother reminded the tour guide that the Bible said Satan himself would be thrown into a bottomless pit. Several of the tourists laughed, while a few others bravely leaned over to look into the mouth of the hole. Katherine shivered with the thought of falling and falling and falling.

  “Are you enjoying this, dear?” Grandmother’s voice broke through her dark thoughts.

  “Oh yes. Very much!” For the first time in a long time, she didn’t have to fake the emotion. And it felt really good. “When you mentioned coming to a cave, I thought it would be very small, and I hate small spaces.”